You are shy and quiet in the best possible way. Sometimes I don’t understand you because I am neither of those things but then I realize that you have your father’s amazing personality, kind, observant, giving. This summer vacation you had new found freedom biking around the block by yourself, you helped me to let go, you have been under someone’s careful watch for 4.5 years so to let you ride off on your own was a big deal. On one of your solo bike adventures I heard a dog barking and knowing your fear of dogs I was petrified that the dog was chasing you, that you fell off your bike and were hurt with no one to help. Just as I was about to officially panic, you came barreling around the corner with a gigantic grin on your face, slamming on the brakes and fish tailing to show us your incredible skill at just 4 years old.On vacation you would always ask to drive the motor boat and would drive until the point where you got worried and throw your hands off the wheel without warning, you are cautious and concerned. This trip you would opt out of swimming many days saying you didn’t want to take a shower, I feel you buddy I am a fair weather swimmer as well, we will let your father and brother do the swimming in this household. You love your brother fiercely. Dawson will hit, bite, and take your things and you continue to be (mostly) kind and patient with him. You offer him ice when he is hurt, kiss his boo boos, and even my booboo when I injured my knee this spring. You give the BEST hugs, the kind where your strong thin legs wrap about my back just so and your arms squeeze my neck the perfect amount.I don’t want to forget the way you say pool (poo) and yellow (lellow), how you jump like a pogo stick and flap your bent arms when you get excited, the way you look at me through your right eye with a smirk when you want something or think something is funny. How proud you look when you are standing up cruising on your bike. Please Parker, don’t ever change.Dear Dawson,
Oh Dawson, you are SO fun and mischievous in the best possible way. You plow through life like a bull in a china shop earning your nickname “Dawson the Destroyer.” Twos as we like to call them can be SO challenging but at least you make the tantrums fun with your clever whit. You are part parrot and part original content and your language is exploding. You will talk to anyone and everyone who will listen. You caught passers by on their way to the beach off guard as you greeted them.You do EVERYTHING that Parker does, the good and the bad. You are his little shadow. We often scold Parker for doing things he is capable of (like launching off of beds) because you will be close behind him if you see it. On vacation you LOVED catching crabbies. Turning over countless rocks, and shouting with delight for others to come see “the BIG Huge ONE” you just uncovered. You want to touch every bird you see and seem surprised each time they fly away from you. “I wanna catch him, Dawsie touch da birdie” and off you race after the poor unsuspecting bird. We apologize if we ended your fishing career early this vacation, when we accidentally sent a flying fish your way. Daddy and Parker caught a small Scup which mommy promptly asked to document with a photo. As I asked Daddy to move the fish closer to the camera it shot out of his hands in your direction, you shrieked and tipped over backwards off of your seat while the fish flapped along side you in the boat. Traumatized you whimpered “Dawsie no like fishin.'”I don’t want to forget how you call your brother Bubbie. You just recently started using his real name which comes out something like: Paka. I don’t want to forget how every night when I get my chance to rock you, you ask me to sing “Nice to meet chu” which is really “May the road rise to meet you”. You bury your head in my shoulder and we rock, recently I have lingered longer as we rock realizing that these days are fleeting, and maybe just maybe if I hold on tight enough I won’t have to let go.Dear Boys,
Each night, while you are sleeping, when I sneak in to say goodnight to you both I want to freeze you in that perfect peaceful moment. Looking at your profiles as they change from soft rounded cheeks to more defined features I want to make time standstill. Every now and then I catch you at an angle where I flash forward and see you in high school and it frightens me. I want to make the days count, to make sure you know how much you are loved, to not focus on my work, this blog, the laundry, or everything else that I have to do, but to focus (truly focus) on you.
I know I have wanted to freeze time at many points along this parenting journey but I know this has GOT to be the most magical age and the most magical summer we will ever have. I just know it. Can we please just freeze time at this golden hour?
I love you to the moon and back,